Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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