that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
