Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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