My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
