I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
