Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I need a beard to bite.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
