so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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