sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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