It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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