I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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