he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Boobs are out for the taking
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
