I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
