Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
