you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
