I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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