can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
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