maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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