So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
