Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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