how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
