You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's official drugs can't kill me
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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