you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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