Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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