I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
