Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Randomize
