My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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