Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
