Only a mothe r could love this liver
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
