she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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