Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
