oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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