very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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