So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
