note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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