Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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