I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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