I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
