So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
