I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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