So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
