ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
