I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
