I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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