oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
