I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
