I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
