Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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