i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
