I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
soo... how was my night?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
