She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
